Finding Balance, Bliss and Health …
It was a long run in my “overworked” stage. I remember my sister routinely saying: “So, what do you like to do for fun?” or “What makes you really happy?” and at the worst of times, “Why are you staring off into space? Are you ok?” The truth was, I wasn’t. I didn’t have the words or perspective to explain or understand it at the time. I did not enjoy the pace or overall content of my life, but I didn’t know how to change it or where to start. Doing that would require letting someone else down, I thought, and that was something I just didn’t know how to do.
This habit of mine, people pleasing, has been around for a long time. While it has its upside, it comes at a great cost. The question — “What makes you happy?” fell on deaf ears. When I asked myself, I couldn’t even begin to consider an answer. There were too many things in the way. Fears mostly. Fears of hurting someone or letting others down. The only problem was I had left myself completely out of the equation.
You may be able to relate. It’s a common tale, really. Children, husband, career, and somewhere along the way you lose yourself. In keeping it all together, you kind of fall apart. Well that’s where things usually get interesting.
To thine own self be true… but you may piss a few people off along the way.
Being a peace-maker is an archetype I learned about through the study of the Enneagram (I highly recommend the “Power of the Enneagram,” by Don Riso and Russ Hudson). Reading this work, I began to understand why the question, “What makes you happy?” was so difficult for me to answer. What made me happy was to make other people happy. A deafening silence was there when I asked myself that question. The scene from the movie “The Notebook,” when Noah yells at Allie, “What do you want? What do you want?” was embedded in my memory as a clue to unlocking the path of my fulfillment.
Crickets, total silence, crickets. That’s what I heard when I first asked the question, but I just kept asking. I realized I had muted this sacred voice inside of me, and I had to resurrect her. Then she got louder. Things started to change. I sold part of my business, passed on contracts, and yes, even told people what I thought. I wasn’t a bull in a China shop, but balance was finding its way into my self-expression. Some people fell away, and others stayed. The overall fabric of my life breathes better now. That voice is gaining speed, too. She not only saved me from misery, but has led me to my passion. That guiding question gets me out of tight spots in a day. When your stuck, try it – “What would make you happy here?” or “What sounds like fun?” This is the umbilical cord to finding your bliss. This is a sacred path, practice and way to live your purpose. Joseph Cambell, the great American author, is famous for teaching this great truth – follow your bliss. You have to learn to recognize your own depths and hear your heart when it calls.
Honoring your heart, listening to the voice of the soul, these are pillars to your radical health and well-being.
A life lived at its fullest and keenly awake. Ask these questions, have the courage to answer and watch your chemistry change. You’d be amazed at what finding balance and bliss can do for your health. I know you are ready, join in the conversation and tell us what you find.
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